Week 27: Nine Virtues: Integrity

Integrity: Honor; being trustworthy to oneself and to others, involving oath-keeping, honesty, fairness, respect, self-confidence

adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty. Dictionary.com

All the virtues are ancient things, stemming from a time when a person’s word and reputation were necessary to prosper. While the methods of spreading ones reputation has changed, much of modern society still relies on the ability to trust the person you are dealing with. We still rely on letters of recommendation and references to get a job or even to get into higher education.

One of the primary purposes of any religion or community is to instill a code of ethics in its members. The adherence to this code has often determined how one’s life would proceed. Across millennia, being able to trust each other to adhere to the community code, to do ones tasks, was the difference between life and death. A person’s word was her bond, her promise to accomplish her end of the deal or arrangement.

Week 29: 5th High Holy Day Recap

Related to Requirement: #8 – High Days Attended
Required Reading: None.

I'm behind again. Need to write up an essay on Integrity and the meaning of the holiday, but I'm honestly more focused on actual practice right now. I also still need to start the modern paganism book, but there are just so many more interesting things to read.

But I'm going to do this while I'm coming off the ritual high and then go play outside.

• how did the rite go in terms of structure? What things went wrong during the ritual? What things went right? 

This was originally supposed to be a Hellenic group ritual. Then the folks who were supposed to be leading had to drop out due to scheduling problems and asked me to take over. So... Norse group ritual. And then neither of us actually had the energy to have ritual last night, so it became Norse solitary. Just a few changes.

I should have spent more time working out the changes from group to solitary ritual. There were wording problems (plural pronouns) and things that the Grove does that I don't in my personal practice. Given that I spent all of 30 minutes or so working on that transition, I don't know why this surprises me.

But because this was originally created for a group, it was fully ADF. So there's that. I had everything because, ya know, checklists. Most of the actual problems I had were caused by poor formatting on the print out, not failure to foresee something.

• Who were the patrons of the rite, and who was the gatekeeper?

 Gatekeeper: Heimdall
Earth Mother: Jord
Patron: Freyr
Outdwellers: Syn
Special Thanks: Eir

• Did you have problems with saying the words without stumbling, or did everything come out smoothly? Did you forget to bring a sacrifice? 

I had trouble remembering anything without the script, but everything came out smoothly as long as that was available. The only trouble I had with sacrifices was discovering I'm out of silver tokens for the well. So I had to come up with a different offering for the well (pearls) before I got started. But there wasn't any scrambling during the ritual.

• Were you alone, or with a group? If you were with a group, did you say anything or do anything? 

Yay being half-solitary and half-grove. 2nd time in a row I was solitary. But it wasn't as comfortable this time. Not sure if it's because of the time of day or the mental expectation for others to be around and there weren't.

• how did the rite go in terms of function and feeling? Did you feel anything during the ritual? Did you experience doubt or confidence? Can you describe what happened? 

This one was pretty straight forward. Come in, do the business, and leave. I felt a few glimmers of attachment during the Two Powers, but not much. I really do need to get better at that. I doubt my abilities as a liturgist. I doubt my suitability for this path. I doubt everything right now. But the only way I can get better is to push through and keep going. Fumbling for the script, managing to completely forget that August 1 is a holiday and maybe I should put thought into things a couple weeks before hand... not really confidence building. But it'll get better as the cycle of holidays becomes more ingrained in my psyche.

• What omens were drawn (if any), and what did they tell you? 

Nothing terribly helpful.

Ancestors:  sowilo. the sun. success, victory.

Nature Spirits:  Laguz. lake/leeks. go with the flow. still waters run deep. don't fight what isn't in your control.

Divine Ones:  elwaz. elk. communication and the dangers associated with it.

• Could you feel the presence of any deities, spirits, or powers? What else about the rite struck you, or do you want to share?

Mostly, I feel like I've had rites go worse, but normally, I also get an emotional link if I'm doing by myself. But hey, I got my cat blessed. Its a start.

Week 26: Modern Paganism book started

Related to Requirement:
#3 – Book Reviews
Required Reading:
 Our Own Druidry, p. 19 - 20 (Concerning the Reading of Books)
 Our Own Druidry, Appendix B, p. xiii (writing a book review)
 start on one book from the list of Pagan Revival titles at the ADF Website, A Recommended Reading List

I'm going to be reading "Drawing Down the Moon" by Margot Adler. Now, if only I could get the motivation to read anything other than fanfiction. I actually heard Ms. Adler's obituary on NPR this morning, she died yesterday.

Not going to lie, wish I could have a study group again for this. Motivation in numbers.

My, incredibly crappy, essay for the Indo-European Studies book below. I know I can do better than this. Just need to actually do better.

Cynthia Eller’s study of the archaeological basis for Matriarchal prehistory, The Myth of Matriarchal Prehistory, attempts, and mostly succeeds, at tearing the pre-historical utopia myth from its foundations. The basic theory of matriarchal prehistory is that before the invention of writing and post-subsistence agriculture, there was a widespread culture that worshiped a female deity and whose clans/ tribes were headed by women held in great respect. These tribes had a greater degree of women’s superiority than seen since. As women were in charge, lives were long and peaceful with no war and lived in harmony with nature. All this came crashing down with either the Kurgan from the Russian-Ukrainian steppes or the Semites from the middle east invaded between 4000 and 3000 BCE, bringing with them war, a male dominated religion, and the patriarchy. This myth fails to make a convincing case in so many ways it is amazing that Eller managed to fit as much as she did in the text. Eller barely mentions the social justice issues that arise from such a reading of the archaeological record. Matriarchal Prehistory can easily be used to condemn homo-sexuality, deny the existence and experience of *trans, and uphold some of the most egregious acts of misogyny in the western world.

The main thrust of Eller’s critique is the refusal of the adherents of the theory to consider all the evidence available is an utter failure of their methods. Theories should be fit to the evidence, not evidence to fit the theory. Most of the archaeological evidence from the period in question is indeterminate at best. Looking at the decorations and figurines, Matriarchal Prehistory proponents see breasts and vaginas everywhere. They have expanded the definition of what ‘counts’ as a vagina in art so much that the term is near meaningless (Eller 123). Any diagonal, wavy, straight, or intersecting line is considered to be a symbol of the the Goddess’ womb. Unfortunately, this expanded definition includes every way of making a line.

The best argument the Matriarchal Prehistorians can make is there was a sudden influx of the Kurgan culture from the Russian-Ukrainian steppes. The Kurgan certain left their mark on the languages of the region. However, language does not leave physical traces in its wake to detail the circumstances of its spread. While it is possible that the Kurgan came swarming out of the steppes bent on conquest as the Huns did a millennia later, there is no evidence that would lead only to that conclusion. No archaeological digs have shown any of the conditions that are present when a violent invasion occurs: famine, population explosion, or massive outbreak of natural disasters. There is simply no reason to suppose that the Kurgan invaded instead of a slow, peaceful migration.

Ultimately, the matriarchal prehistory argument is pleading for a special case. Despite not having convincing evidence, they believe that ‘Old Europe’ must have been matriarchal in the distant past. However, reality does not force itself to conform to expectations. By the year 4000 BCE, cities and kingdoms were already being formed in Africa and the Middle East- with no sign of a matriarchal society. Why Europe was so ‘enlightened’ as to have a matriarchy while the rest of the world did not can never be explained without resorting to discredited and racist areas of historical study.

Week 25: Nine Virtues: Courage

Related to Requirement: #1 – Nine Virtues 

Required Reading:  

 Our Own Druidry, p. 15 (Virtue, Piety and Study) 

 Our Own Druidry, 85-90 (Lore and Essays) 

Optional Reading:  

 "Warrior Virtues" by Paul Maurice <http://www.adf.org/members/guilds/warriors/ethicsvirtues.html>;  

 A Virtuous Life Nine Virtues study guide: <http://www.adf.org/members/training/dp/publications/dp-req1-nine-virtues.pdf>; 

 Oak Leaves issue #14, "Ethics of a Celtic Warrior" by Robert Barton 

"The ability to act appropriately in the face of danger." Our Own Druidry

“the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.” dictionary.com

It has become a trite thing: courage is not the lack of fear, but the movement forward despite it. Perhaps that is true. Perhaps it is simply a comforting lie told to each other to encourage the view that society’s warriors are a class apart. It certainly does not take into account all the forms of courage.

There’s the courage of the soldier on the battle field. But there’s the small courage of accepting that your body is lying to you and you need help to see your worth. The small battles of daily life determine your courage as much as the grand battles for life and limb.

In many ways, courage, integrity, and perseverance are all tangled up to the point of all being necessary for one to shine true. Having the honor and courage to display one’s convictions, the perseverance to live them.

Week 24: Two Powers (part 2)

Related to Requirement:

• #5 – Two Powers 

Suggested Reading:

• "An Advanced Two Powers Attunement" by Linda Demissy  
• Ian Corrigan, "Working Magic with the Two Powers" mp3's, 
• "The Two Powers: an Alternative for Large Rites" by Rev. Kirk Thomas
• "Bungee Cord Two Powers" by Bert Kelher, 
• "Two Powers on a String and a Prayer" by Anne Lenzi, 
• Sacred Fire, Holy Well by Ian Corrigan, p. 82-85 
• The Fire on Our Hearth by Three Cranes Grove, ADF, p. 80-81 

• How has this meditation felt to you? Do you do this meditation as your daily meditation, or as part of daily rituals? 

The Two Powers guided meditation as presented in OOD and Corrigan's audio tracks and writings feels really artificial and forced. I'm not saying it doesn't work, just that it doesn't work for me. I'm slowly re-working the basic concepts into something that does work. I try to do a full two power's meditation as part of my daily devotional at least once a week. It doesn't always happen, but that's the goal. 

I'm going to try putting together another prayer string and see if that helps me remember to do it.

• Can you describe how it feels? What parts of the meditation move you the most? The least? Does one power or the other seem stronger? 

Dropping into the Earth power is like settling into a hot tub a bit too fast. Sending tendrils down into that heat, soaking it up, and then drawing it up into myself. 3 breaths down, 3 breaths soaking, 3 breaths drawing up.

Reaching up for the Sky power is harder. Feels like I'm straining, reaching on tiptoes for something just out of my reach. And it's cold, the space between the world, running outside without a coat in January, swimming in a lake during February cold.

Earth power is easier to connect to and feels stronger. But I don't think it is, it's just closer.

• Many people will come to feel that one of these powers is masculine and one is feminine. In your Dedicant Notebook, write a short paragraph on how the Sky Power is masculine and the Earth Power is feminine. Now, write another short paragraph about how the Sky Power is feminine and the Earth Power is masculine. Can you make both arguments? Which one convinces you more? Is either worth arguing? The Sky Power is sometimes described as "ordering" and the Earth Power is sometimes described as "chaotic". Do you feel this is an accurate description of the Powers? 

Masculine/ Feminine are bullshit. The sky and earth have no gender or sex. They are both greater than that and encompass both (and every other possible permutation). I can see the catagories of organization and chaos, however, both Earth and Sky have aspects of both.

The explosion of a star going nova, disordering the sky's orderly dance and motion. A perfect gemstone forming in the molten chaos of the earth's mantle.

• If you have chosen a hearth culture, how does the mythology of that culture embrace the Two Powers? 

Yggdrasil has 3 roots which are in 3 wells: The Well of Urðr (the well of fate, around which the Norns sit), the Hvergelmir (the source of rivers, and filled with dragons and snakes), and the Mímisbrunnr (Mimis' Well, the well of wisdom). It's branches support the 9 worlds.

• Can you write a chant or a prayer about the way the cosmos looks when we're in ritual? Try writing one and using it as a meditation aid, and write down your results. 

coming later. It's written, but I've not had a chance to see if it helps yet.

Interlude: Solstice Brewing Part 2

Continued adventures in brewing.

Roommate and I tried the mead on Sunday, after a bare week of fermenting. It definitely had a kick (a hell of a kick!), but was still pretty sweet. Since it was already drinkable, we made the decision to go ahead and move to the secondary.

Unfortunately, the ex took the glass carboy. So I set up a crappy filtration system (coffee filters in a colander) to try to get some of the yeast out and we drained into another 5 gallon bucket. There's still some fermentation going on, but less than before. I'll pick up another airlock, clarifier, and yeast killer this weekend when I'm by a brew store.

Off hand, this looks like it's going to turn out better than anything I've tried to brew in the past. I'm glad I'm keeping notes.

Week 22: High Holy Day Essay

Related to Requirement:

#2 – Meaning and Discussion of High Days 

Required Reading: 

 Our Own Druidry, p. 62 - 74 (Hearth Cultures & High Days) 

 ADF Constitution, Article 4 

 The ADF Core Order of Ritual for High Days

Optional Reading: 

 Our Own Druidry, p. 51 - 75 (The Very Basics of Ritual); 

 A Crane Breviary and Guide Book by Rev. Michael J Dangler: <> 

 Appendix 1: Resources and Rituals for the Wheel of the Year in this book; 

 Step by Step through a Druid Worship Ceremony, <>; 

 The "Liturgy and Rituals" section of the ADF page, <> 

 The Three Cranes Grove, ADF, outline of ritual (with example prayers), <>

The summer solstice is one of the major points in the wheel of the year. It is at this point that the potential of the harvest can be seen, even though much of the growing season still lies ahead. Fertility rites are still in play, however, at this point they begin to focus more on protecting the crops from blight, flooding, or hail than the creation of new life.

There are a number of Deities that could be honored during this season. Traditionally, midsummer was viewed as the date that Baldur was killed, explaining the start of the decent into darkness as the dying of the sun/light god. Alternatively, Freyr and Freyja, the god and goddess of fertility and agriculture, could be honored to protect the crops. Their father, Njord, was honored to encourage the bounty of the sea as the god of fishing and sailing.

The sun and its representative on earth, fire, are the most commonly used symbols of the solstice. In the Germanic and Celtic lands, it was a tradition to light bonfires and drive livestock either between two fires or through the smoke to protect them for the rest of the season. This practice was so prevalent that it continued after christianization until the Reformation.

Week 23: 4th High Holy Day Recap

Related to Requirement: #8 – High Days Attended
Required Reading: None.

• how did the rite go in terms of structure? What things went wrong during the ritual? What things went right? 

For whatever reason, we didn't have a grove ritual for the solstice. So I was writing my own ritual. I stuck with the basic core order of ritual that we normally use, and just adopted parts from other rituals that worked well or that I liked.

Nothing really went wrong, but I was planning on having the ritual outside. Then a thunderstorm came through, soaking the wood pile. And a second storm rolled through right at dusk when I was getting ready to start. So outside was a no go.

My altar is kinda small, which is why I was wanting to do the ritual outside: more space to hold offerings. Moving inside meant that I needed to suddenly clear a space near my altar to hold the sacrifices. Ended up just clearing off the top of my dresser and moving things to the altar in sets as they were needed. Stacking coffee cups work really well for holding sacrifices.

Overall, I'm really happy with how things turned out. I should have practiced more some of the pronunciations (Skidbladnir and Sessrumnir are both pretty hard to pronounce when you're trying to say them aloud for the first time). But the worst things that happened were some stuttered pronunciation and being inside instead of outside. There are so totally worse ways this could have gone.

• Who were the patrons of the rite, and who was the gatekeeper? 

Gatekeeper: Heimdall

Earth Mother: Jörd

Deity of the Occasion: Freyr and Freyja

• Did you have problems with saying the words without stumbling, or did everything come out smoothly? Did you forget to bring a sacrifice? 

I need to start practicing the kennings before ritual. Pronunciation always trips me up. There were parts where I couldn't find my cadence, but that's mostly just a practice thing I think. I remembered sacrifices for everyone (not always what I would have chosen, but the last minute change of location meant some things had to be swapped from  things to toss in a fire to things that can be added to a candle flame). Upon further reflection, I'm not sure a (cherry) tomato was the best offering to Freyr, however, it seemed right when I was doing my planning.

• Were you alone, or with a group? If you were with a group, did you say anything or do anything? How did the rite go in terms of function and feeling?

I was solitary for this rite. And actually, I liked it better. I need to work on my two powers meditation, but it's just a practice thing. Being able to move at my own pace, to slow down when I felt like it needed it, being able to re-affirm my connection with the powers mid-ritual when I slipped... it felt much more relaxing and worshipful than the group rituals do. 

• Did you feel anything during the ritual? Did you experience doubt or confidence? Can you describe what happened? 

I'm not sure that comfortable is the right word, but something with those connotations. I wrote it (or at least, assembled it. I need to go add citations to my record of ritual), I performed it, and there was very little outside of my control that I could control. Even the tripping and stuttering wasn't too bad and didn't shake the feeling that this was right. 

I actually felt connected to the Kindreds. I might even be feeling my way towards a relationship with Freyja. It wasn't anything that ecstatic trance or anything, but I felt like my words were being heard and acknowledged. The land spirits really liked the sacrifice of maple syrup, milk, and dark bread.  I'm pretty sure Syn appreciated the wine. 

Maybe I'm one of those folks who needs to be solitary by choice. Although I do like the volunteer work etc that is happening with the grove.

• What omens were drawn (if any), and what did they tell you? 

I used runes, as is my wont. Over all, the impression I got was if I put in the effort, I will be rewarded with good health.

Ancestors:  Uraz. The wild auroch/ ox. Good health, strength
Spirits:  Ingaz. The ingot. Potential. With work, something valuable.
Gods:  Ansuz. The spoken word.

• What else about the rite struck you, or do you want to share? 

I liked this so much better than group ritual. Even though I was completely exhausted when done, it was everything I wanted out of ritual. I need to do this more often.

Interlude: Solstice Brewing

As part of my solstice activities, I started a batch of mead on Saturday. Well, it's kinda mead. Due to financial restrictions, buying 20 lbs of honey wasn't really going to happen. I'm improvising this, so It may end up utterly undrinkable.

This is mostly for my own record.

2 gallons purified water
1 gallon organic not from concentrate pasturized apple juice
5 lbs local honey
1 lb corn sugar
1 packet dry Red Star Pasteur Champagne

Sanitized everything.

Melted the honey into about half a gallon of the water to de-crystalize it over low heat. It never even got up to a simmer, so most of the more subtle flavor from the honey should be preserved. After most of the honey was melted, scooped out a bit into a cup and tossed the yeast in that to rehydrate and start getting happy.

Poured the remaining water and apple juice into the brew bucket. Once all the crystals had dissolved, poured the honey water into the bucket and then added the yeast.  Gave it a few stirs to mix everything and then added the corn sugar, mixed that in.

Lidded and added an airlock. By Sunday morning, it was bubbling along happily, and was still doing so this morning. My plan was to allow this to brew until the equinox and then transfer to the secondary, but I'm not sure that'll get me something good. Most folks ferment until completion, I'm not sure what i'm going to do. I might let it go 2 weeks and then taste then decide.

I couldn't find the hydrometer Saturday to get an initial reading on sugar content, so we'll never know just how alcoholic this is.

I guess since this has honey and apple juice, this is actually a cyser.

Week 21: Nature Awareness 2

Related to Requirement: #7 – Nature Awareness
Required Reading:
 Our Own Druidry, p. 41 - 46 (Attunement to Nature and the Kindred)
Suggested Reading:
 "Connecting With the Natural World" by Ladytoad
 "On the Solitary Path" by Ladytoad
 "Nature Worship as Lifestyle" by Kate Farrell
 "O Earth Mother, We Praise Thee" from The Druid Chronicles
 Sacred Fire, Holy Well by Ian Corrigan, p. 163-166;
 The Solitary Druid by Rev. Skip Ellison, p. 69-80

I may have made a bad decision when choosing my yard to use as my nature spot. While I'm doing really good at getting outside and spending time in my yard... I'm mostly doing yard work while I'm at it. Which, while very helpful for getting used to the rhythms of a new place, doesn't really involve connecting to the land or nature spirits.

Homework:
1. Where does your trash go? 
To the city landfill for the most part. I recycle a bunch, but not all.

2. Are there options for recycling that you're making use of? Why or why not? 
I recycle most of my plastic, glass, and aluminum containers. I need to get better about recycling my (tin? I think they're mostly steel now) food cans, as they can go into the same bin as the others. And then even better at taking the recycling bags to the drop off.

A good portion of my waste is junk mail and paper food waste. During the spring and summer, a good portion of it ends up being used as charcoal starter, however, during the winter it just get tossed out. The city has a fiber recycling program as well, however, since it needs to be separate from the plastic/metal bin... I don't have the space for a permanent bin for it and I'm too lazy to make space.

3. Are there steps you can take to help reduce the amount of refuse you create? 
Even with not recycling my paper, I normally only have about 1 trashbag a week. Some weeks are heavier, but 1 bag is pretty hard to go down from. Obviously recycling my paper and starting a compost pile would get me down even further.

4. What happens to your waste water? 
Eventually, anything spilled outside gets to the Missouri River. Its where my water comes from (via a treatment station) and where it all returns. I'm only a couple of miles from the river, so I use as few pesticides and fertilizers as possible to keep at least that much out of the river (my neighbors feel no such compulsion, which is why my yard has all the bees and all the ticks.)

5. What rivers are nearby? Do you have a connection to them? What sort of connection? 
The Missouri river is about 2 miles away. It's dirty and dangerous through here, so I don't spend much time on it. But its pretty watching the sunset over the river.

6. Describe the basic climate of your area. Is it often wet and rainy? Dry and sunny? Wet and sunny? How has this affected the kinds of plants and animals in the area? 
It's hot/cold and humid. Anything else is in flux. Right now, it's raining, hot, and humid. We actually get 4 seasons through here most years. Past few years have been really dry (and yet still humid *eyeroll*), but there's enough fluctuation you can't trust the weather forecast for more than 2-3 days tops.

The plants that do well are highly drought tolerant. This is very much still prairie land at heart and anything that wants lots of available water just isn't going to live very well. Same goes for animals. Deer, raccoons, and opossums are all pretty common. Other, larger, animals live elsewhere. But I mostly get the common suburban and urban margin inhabitants.

7. What visible effects have humans had on the natural landscapes around you? 
Sub/urban sprawl sucks. We don't let the river move anymore, and all the trees are getting torn down to build more single family homes.

8. Where do the winds usually come from? Are there different winds at different times of the year? 
The vast majority of our wind comes from the west. Storms normally travel from the south west, however, there are always a few every year that come from the northwest or follow the Mississippi north and then turn west. Those tend to cause tornadoes and mass destruction.

9. What major crops are grown in your region? Why are these particular crops grown here? 
We used to grow lots of hemp for rope (19th century). Apparently hemp really likes the climate here. Now the fields are gone, but we have a lot growing wild still. Other major crops are soy beans and corn. Some wheat, but not as much. Corn and wheat both require more easily available water than is normally available of a given year. Soy Beans are a short crop cycle and thus can be harvested before the summer drought kicks in.

10. Where does your power come from (i.e. nuclear, solar, coal, gas, etc.)? 
Missouri has a law that says a certain percentage of power has to come from renewable resources. I have no idea what that percentage is. Per what I can find, my local electric company uses mostly coal, with additional wind, hydro, and gas to make up the difference. I know my local landfill generates electricity from the methane, but it goes to a different electric company.

Week 20: Nine Virtues: Vision

This needs lots of polishing, but it works for right now.

Vision: The ability to broaden one's perspective to have a greater understanding of our place/role in the cosmos, relating to the past, present and futureOur Own Druidry

vision1. the act or power of sensing with the eyes; sight.2. the act or power of anticipating that which will or may come to be: prophetic vision; the vision of an entrepreneur.3. an experience in which a personage, thing, or event appears vividly or credibly to the mind, although not actually present,often under the influence of a divine or other agency: a heavenly messenger appearing in a vision.  Compare hallucination (  def 1 ).4. something seen or otherwise perceived during such an experience: The vision revealed its message.5. a vivid, imaginative conception or anticipation: visions of wealth and glory.Dictionary.com

Vision is being able to see the connections between things, both as a function of cause and effect and as a hypothetical. Vision and a sense of history are required to see the effects the past have on the present and future. In large part, vision is the ability to have that sense of history. History enables us to realize the results of actions: the Treaty of Versailles ending World War 1 in 1918 was one of the direct causes of World War 2. World War 1 itself can be traced as a cause of much of the current unrest and fighting in the Middle East. Vision shows both the causes of climate change and the effects in the short and long terms. Its all about connections. Similarly, we can envision a world without or partially mitigated climate change and find the causes/ actions needed to bring that vision to fruition. We see ourselves in the past, see each other in the present, and project ourselves into the future. Vision is history and empathy and self-awareness all rolled up into one.

Week 19: The Dedicant Oath: First Thoughts

Related to Requirement:
#11 – Dedicant Oath and Rite
Required Reading:

• Our Own Druidry, p. 129 – 130 (The Dedicant's Oath) 

Optional Reading:

• Rev. Michael J Dangler's Dedicant Oath
• Raven Mann's Dedicant Oath

I'm not real sure how I feel about this weeks assignment. Not because its hard, but because it seems to be aimed at folks who have a patron. I don't. My main concern about writing the oath is phrasing (oaths are a HUGE DEAL) and making sure I have room to move on from ADF if I feel the need in the future.

I'm rather crap at writing ritual/ liturgy. So the rite is going to take me a long time to write and I rather imagine that the oath itself will take me longer still. I should probably start it now, but the summer is always so busy. 

Things I know are going to be important:

9 noble virtues

Norse pantheon

ancestors

I have held to the Norse gods since before I fully knew paganism. And they were the first pantheon I turned to after leaving christianity behind. I'm sure part of this is having read Tolkien too young, however, this fits. The Norse were ok with strong women leading, fighting, loving. I may be pretty domestic, but I also love and lead.

There are a number of reasons to not pursue a more re-constructionist path, but mostly its because I have no use for racists or gender fundamentalists and refuse to be categorized with them. There are other neo-pagan groups that I might find my path leading to at some point. But it's not leading there right now and I'm ok with that. I have a good group here with a secure mix of group and solitary work.

I guess this is mostly turning into musings on why I'm doing ADF instead of reconstruction and why Norse. And the reasons for why ADF haven't changed. I'm utterly put off by the public vocal face of the reconstructionist movement and I'm pretty against killing things, even for ritual purposes (which gets into a whole other level of moral obligation that I've been struggling with for years). And, I don't see the need to be more hardcore about my religion than I am about anything else in my life. Also, the local recon group and I don't get on. Because I'm not hardcore enough.

Week 18: Personal Religion

Related to Requirement: 
#10 – Personal Religion;
#9 – Relationships to Kindred
Required Reading:  

• Our Own Druidry, p. 19 (The Hearth Oath)  
• Our Own Druidry, p. 123 – 128 (Personalizing Your Paganism)  
• Our Own Druidry, p. xv – xvi (Appendix 1: Adapting the DP to Specific Ethnic Paths) 

Optional reading:  

• Our Own Druidry, p. 62 – 74 (Hearth Cultures and High Days)  
• Our Own Druidry, p. xvii – xxvii (Using the DP for Grove Building);  
• Reintroducing Solitary Work into Your Life by Rev. Michael J Dangler <http://www.adf.org/articles/solitary/reintroducing-solitary-work.html>  
• "Ratri" by Adhitin Ratrija <http://www.adf.org/articles/gods-and-spirits/vedic/ratri.html>  
• "The Case for Choosing a Pantheon" by Ian Corrigan <http://www.adf.org/articles/gods-and-spirits/general/case-for-choosing-a-pantheon.html>  
• "Dual Trad Daily Devotionals" by Tanrinia, <http://www.adf.org/members/training/dp/articles/dual-trad-devotions.html> 

I've fallen frightfully behind over the past month on this. Just have had absolutely no motivation to work on anything more complicated than my sewing. I suppose at least part of it is that May is always really busy and I feel like I should have been out playing at the local ren faire. Instead, I've been lazing, gardening, and reading.

Answers to Week 1 are Here.
Most of my answers are still the same.  The study group has pretty much fallen apart so I'm doing it on my own anyway, which I was trying to avoid, but much of everything else is the same.

Except not really. I still have no more idea now how to meditate than I did 21 weeks ago. The Daily Devotionals are teaching me how to be at peace with myself and the world for about 20 minutes a day, but it's not really what I expect meditation to teach me. Or maybe I'm just comparing too much.

I certainly need to just learn to trust the Kindreds and my own intuition. Even if my conscious mind is freaking out, I was led to this path and I think I need to walk it a while. I have no more idea now if I'll stay with ADF long term or just for a while, but this is my home for a while longer. I

First Oath
I made a point of my first oath being things that I could do. Not necessarily without stretching, but I didn't want to set my obligations so high that I would fail more often than I succeeded. I am seeking the Gods, I am doing my best to be charitable and kind, and I am learning. I'm not teaching yet, but that will come in time.

Hearth Culture
I'm sticking with Norse for my personal hearth. Most of my hobbies right now are leaning that way and this way all my research will feed back into itself. My I-E studies book hasn't changed how I feel about any of the cultures (I'm not sure that my book should even be listed as IE Studies), but that also wasn't its goal. I do want/need to re-work my devotional a bit to make it fit Norse better, but right now is not the time.

Patron/ Matron
Oh, I wish. I hear the same silence that I always have from that corner. I may have felt something like tingles when I was planning the Beltane ritual, but those left as soon as the ritual was over. I'm just doing daily offerings to the Deities as a whole and Freyja and Joerd (friend is seeking help in conceiving). Its a lot like being at Camp Half-Blood: eventually someone will claim you, but in the mean time, hang out and do the best you can.

Week 17: 3rd High Holy Day Recap

Related to Requirement: #8 – High Days Attended 

Required Reading: None. 

I obviously need to still do week 16, the essay about the holiday, however, this one is a lot easier to do at work.

• How did the rite go in terms of structure? What things went wrong during the ritual? What things went right? 

While writing the ritual, I kept to the Grove's basic outline of ritual. So everything required for an ADF ritual was present. I am a crappy liturgist. I didn't practice nearly enough, or even read some parts out loud while writing them, so the rhythm was stupid and awful. But for all that, things went ok. It wasn't the most elegant ritual we've done, but we also weren't struck by lightning or set on fire.

• Who were the patrons of the rite, and who was the gatekeeper? 

Earthmother: Jord

Gatekeeper: Heimdall

Patron: Freya

• Did you have problems with saying the words without stumbling, or did everything come out smoothly? Did you forget to bring a sacrifice? 

Most of the speaking problems would have been solved by me reading things aloud and fixing the rhythm before we started ritual. One of the good parts of the Marvel movies being so popular is that folks know how to pronounce most of the major Gods in the Norse pantheon. The only one we had trouble with was Jord and that's just due to Germanic vs Spanish pronunciations. 

I remembered all the sacrifices... but we failed to remember cups or other forms of holder for them. So the liquid offerings were all held in a number of different (inappropriate) containers: a dice set box; a reusable cup from my favorite bar, my faire mug that I only had because it was attached to my belt... There are worse problems to have, but it was pretty embarrassing. The grain just got left in its ziplock bag, the incense and strawberries hung out on the table.

• Were you alone, or with a group? If you were with a group, did you say anything or do anything? 

As woefully under-prepared as I was... I led. So I did most of the speaking. I need to get better at both public speaking (SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!) and blessing things. 

• How did the rite go in terms of function and feeling? 

I think we adequately expressed our excitement that spring is finally here and summer is within sighting distance? I don't feel like we insulted anyone (and I included an extra sacrifice in case we did). It did feel rushed and awkward. I'm not sure if that's because I wrote it (maybe everyone thinks ritual they've written feels awkward?) or if it really was awkward as all get out.

• Did you feel anything during the ritual? Could you feel the presence of any deities, spirits, or powers? Did you experience doubt or confidence? Can you describe what happened? 

Group ritual is about the worst way for me to feel connected to anything. I can get through the Two Powers meditation, feel nice and connected... and then that disappears over the course of the ritual. Part of that is I'm spending as much time anticipating what needs to happen next as I do on the actual ritual. This time, the wind was a serious hindrance, kept blowing the ritual/ script around. I actually felt more connected as I was writing it than while I was performing it.

I try to do a second rite by myself within a couple of days of the holiday in an effort to actually feel connected to something, but there was just no chance of that happening this time. Last week was just too busy.

• If you were with a group, what did the other people say about what happened? 

No one said anything. Which my brain interprets as a sign that I failed miserably. But the folks who were there also don't generally discuss the ritual in specific terms afterwards. The 3 of us who are working on our DP do that... but the other two weren't there.

• What omens were drawn (if any), and what did they tell you?  

Ancestors:  Wunjo. The ancestors bring us joy and love.

Spirits:  Thuraz. The spirits bring us both the thorn in the path and the beauty of the rose. The thorn is both hazard to caution and protection against forces that wish us harm.

Deities:  Othala. The Gods bring us our inheritance and the joy of it. We are linked to our past and our future

• What else about the rite struck you, or do you want to share?

I did a shite job at organizing this. I should have practiced more and let other people know what assistance I needed from them. It wasn't a disaster, but it felt like one.

Week 16: 3rd High Holy Day Essay

Related to Requirement: 

#2 – Meaning and Discussion of High Days 

Required Reading: 

 Our Own Druidry, p. 62 - 74 (Hearth Cultures & High Days) 

 ADF Constitution, Article 4 

 The ADF Core Order of Ritual for High Days

Optional Reading: 

 Our Own Druidry, p. 51 - 75 (The Very Basics of Ritual); 

 A Crane Breviary and Guide Book by Rev. Michael J Dangler: <> 

 Appendix 1: Resources and Rituals for the Wheel of the Year in this book; 

 Step by Step through a Druid Worship Ceremony, <>; 

 The "Liturgy and Rituals" section of the ADF page, <> 

 The Three Cranes Grove, ADF, outline of ritual (with example prayers), <>

The May Cross-quarter is perhaps the closest fit between the popular conception of the holiday and the Norse hearth culture. The sudden resurgence of Walpurgis Night aside, May Day and Beltane celebrations can often be transferred with very little effort to be Norse focused. The Norse Goddess of fertility and beauty, Freyja, is also the goddess of magic and death. It is fitting that Maitag, devoted to the plenty of spring and summer as well as fertility rites of all kind, is preceded by Walpurgis Night, when the ancestors and spirits draw near.

Walpurgis night is celebrated with bonfires, feasting and dancing. The bonfires are used to keep away any spirits that mean harm or mischief. There is considerable debate regarding the origin of Walpurgis night. The name is known to dervive from St. Walburga of England who worked towards the Christianization of Germany in the Eighth Century. Little textural evidence exists that implies the celebrations pre-date St. Walburga. Simply the date of her canonization was conflated with the existing May Day celebrations and the holiday expanded.

May day is celebrated much the same way throughout the British Isles, Germany, and northern France: joy and dance that the spring has come and summer is coming. It is about this point in the agricultural year that it finally becomes warm enough to start planting the fields. The fruits and berries start to appear and milk and eggs become abundant. More than anything else, that is the message of May Day, that the days of plenty are here.

Week 15: Nine Virtues: Piety

I'm pretty sure writing 125 words on anything isn't supposed to be this hard. But I rather think the ADF definition provided in Our Druidry is bullpucky and my attempts to come up with a logical explanation that doesn't logic me into a corner isn't going well. 

At any rate, this is what I have so far:

“Correct observance of ritual and social traditions; the maintenance of the agreements, (both personal and societal), we humans have with the Gods and Spirits. Keeping the Old Ways, through ceremony and duty.”  ADF Dedicant Manual

• Reverence for God or devout fulfillment of religious obligations: a prayer full of piety.
• the quality or state of being pious: saintly piety.
• dutiful respect or regard for parents, homeland, etc.: filial piety.
• a pious act, remark, belief, or the like: the pieties and sacrifices of an austere life.

Dictionary.com

Piety, as an act, requires only actions in service of something greater than oneself. In terms of service and piety, there is no much difference between a soldier serving her country and and priest serving his God(s). It is the act of service that is the pious act. Piety is duty. Duty to the Gods, duty to the local spirits, duty to the surrounding community and family. It is part of the sacrifice made on a daily basis to ensure a functioning society. Piety asks one to serve others who are less fortunate; to take care of the the environment and recover what can be replanted; to trust the Gods’ wisdom and be their hands when they cannot act themselves. Piety is related to integrity/ honor and perseverance. While the easier thing in many cases may be to be selfish, honor and integrity demand service to something greater, Keeping the oaths and commitments made to others and the Gods. However, it is not enough to honor those oaths and commitments once. It is done repeatedly, until it has become embedded. It is the perseverance that takes a mundane task: standing at the altar for 20 minutes a day, meditating and turns it into service of the Gods and piety.

This is crap. I know it's crap. But piety isn't one of those things I have a clear mental definition of, and I have a bye week in a few weeks where I can sit down and revise things.

Week 14: Home Shrine Revisited

Tracking changes to my Altar/ shrine over the past 7 weeks.

Here's what it looked like in March:

February 25, 2014

Doesn't really look like much.  There's no cup for me to drink out of, while it's very uncluttered, it also doesn't really look personal.

After a couple of weeks of use, I added a cup and some other things to make devotionals a bit easier:

March 24, 2014

I switched things around to make it harder for Luna to try to set herself on fire, added candles (I didn't think there was enough light during full rituals), started sticking my incense sticks into the sand that holds my tree/pole. Replaced the citrine with quartz for clarity of thought, straightened out the strand of amethyst. The shallow bowl was originally there to hold any offerings, but it got moved to my travel kit. This is better than the original layout, but I'm still not happy with it.

I snapped this photo this morning:

April 29, 2014

It doesn't matter which side the flame is on, Luna still tries to set herself on fire. I removed the candles again because as much as I like having the extra light during full rituals, most of the time, I also need more space for those (In that case, the things I need get moved to either the coffee table in the living room or outside, depending on what I need). The candle that is currently on there is only there because my lamp ran out of oil over the weekend and I've not had the time to re-fill it. I've added 3 stone and pewter frogs as well, mostly because I like frogs. and they do make the entire thing look more like something I put together. I need to come up with a storage method for my rune staves (the popsicle sticks) rather than just being piled together. The tree/pole hasn't been shortened, I just framed the photo strangely.

I want to add a shelf above this to hold things like a box of keepsakes for the ancestors, maybe a deity image, seasonal flowers, and to hang some chimes from. I also want to re-finish the inside of the bowl. It's just stained, without any sealant, so if I forget to empty it in the morning after my devotional, the stain leeches out of the bowl and into the water. Eventually, there will also be a hook to hold my ritual beads. Once I make them (which needs to be this week). I'm still contemplating a plant for a tree/pole instead of a stripped branch, but at this point, I'm willing to just let things be.

As you can tell by the lighter and separated stave, I'm definitely using the altar as I have it set up. Most of the changes I want to make are cosmetic. I'll be changing the altar cloth Thursday if I have the energy, this coming weekend if not. I had a plan for a shelf, however, after scratching myself on a (rusty) nail trying to get the reclaimed wood I was going to use, that plan got scrapped in favor of not giving myself tetanus. I might try again on the next rainy day I have free, but not this week. I had to take down an entire fence, so I might as well make use of the wood before taking it to a mulching drop off.

Week 13: Nine Virtues: Wisdom

Ok, essay is finally complete. I'm really out of practice at writing essays on abstract ideas. Probably because I've not had to do it in... uh... well, at least 10 years.

Initial draft is below. This needs a bunch of revision, but I have a bye week coming up the second week of June, so I'm going to sit down and polish up a bunch of essays that week. This was far harder than it should have been to write. Probably because I just kept procrastinating.

“Wisdom: Good judgment, the ability to perceive people and situations correctly, deliberate about and decide on the correct response.” ADF Dedicant Manual

“The quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.” Dictionary.com

Wisdom comes from the interplay between good judgement and moral action. Without both parts, wisdom becomes ignorance or rash action.

Good judgement can arise from both experience or lessons learned from others. Many things can be learned through experience (the stove is hot!), however, in some cases, the experience or knowledge sought can be obtained from others, through books or by simply asking (the consequences of war). The ability of humans to learn and apply knowledge not only from their own past but also the past experience of others can be argued to be one of the markers that sets humans apart.

Moral action is also a key component. Having the knowledge to advise on a situation but failing to act in accordance with that knowledge is a profoundly unethical act. There may be times where the ethical course of action is inaction, however, inaction is still an action. Moral action is an action that appropriately responds to a situation while aiming to reduce harm and magnify kindness.

Wisdom is intricately linked to both courage and vision. Vision is needed to foresee the consequences of an action and to take additional steps to lessen harm. It is sometimes impossible to avoid all harm, however, the virtuous harms the least and assists the most. Performing the wise, moral thing sometimes requires courage. What is right and what is easy are rarely the same action.

So yeah, obviously needs work, but once I have a draft, it gets a lot easier to manage.

Weeks 13-16 Gah. I'm so far behind!

Well, somehow, I went from being about half a week behind to being 4 weeks behind. Not sure how that happened, but it means I have a lot of catch up work to do this week.

Week 13: finish wisdom exercises and write essay-- DONE
week 14: altar changes and write up-- DONE
week 15: piety exercises and essay-- DONE
week 16: 3rd high holy day essay

So yeah. Lots of stuff to get to. And it's a busy week on top of all that: in addition to my normal social activities (Tuesday), the Grove is volunteering at the local soup kitchen on Thursday, we have ritual on Friday, and Earth Day and Druid Moon on Sunday. And somewhere in there, I need to watch my shows and a movie I've borrowed from a friend, bake things for ritual and druid moon, and sleep. I love being busy. It's great.

So yeah, expect updates this week. lots and lots of updates.

Week 13: Nine Virtues: Wisdom

Related to Requirement: #1 – Nine Virtues
Required Reading:

• Our Own Druidry, p. 15 (Virtue, Piety and Study); 
• Our Own Druidry, 85-90 (Lore and Essays) 

Suggested Reading:

• A Virtuous Life Nine Virtues study guide

But first, recap of last week since I didn't get anything up.

Some how I got ahead of the group, so I had a bye week last week. I used the time to create a set of rune staves and to spend lots of time outside (to the dismay of my sunburnt ears and nose). I also finally got the Beltane ritual written.

I'm really happy with how the rune staves turned out, even if this is just meant to be a temporary set until I can get better wood working skills. Also, I probably shouldn't have started them just before lunch as I was starving by the end since it took a good 2 hours. I'm not sure how true they read, but since I'm really bad at interpretation anyway, I think it'll probably be ok. I have switched from iPod divination to drawing a rune instead during my devotional. Its practice and that is needed.

Mom requested a new retaining wall and a trip to the zoo for her birthday. So I spent most of Friday and Saturday outside, working and walking. Walnuts hurt to have jammed into your knees and penguins and polar bears are pretty cool (pun not intended). Sunday was spent inside helping Grandma around the house, which was not really how I wanted to spend it... but it needed to be done and I was the one available. And it wasn't too bad this time: just moving heavy stuff she can't manage and some computer stuff.

Writing the ritual was more of a thing than I was expecting it to be. I'm not sure if I was just blocked or if I'm a horrible litergist. Or both. At any rate, after combing through... several... books, every non-shitty website I could find, and a couple shitty websites that at least weren't racist, I finally got enough information to write this. I really need to find reliable sources of information. I have more research and information on exactly how the pleating was done on viking apron dresses than I have on what the appropriate deities are for different holidays. I'm going to publish at least the parts of it that I wrote after Beltane so other folks have a bit of an easier time. At any rate, ritual is written and sent off for editing.

Week 12: Ancestors, proper write-up

The proper write up from last week. Since I didn't get it done over the weekend and I'm apparently a week ahead of the study group, so I actually have a bit of time.

Since my practice prior to this hasn't really included the Ancestors in a personal sense, I started with an Invocation. I partially combined the Invocation from the Dedicant Manual and one of the Invocations on the ADF website. I added some other things because they felt right (offerings to the Earth Mother and Heimdall).

As an invitation to the Ancestors, I offered some rosemary (for remembrance) and lavender oil (for calm). The Earth Mother and Heimdall both got a libation of hard cider.

After I finished the Invocation, it really felt like I had folks just yelling at me, "name me! I'm at this party!" For the most part, this was fine, even if they are all folk I would consider to be blood family. I'm fortunate in that there are very few people in my family who I would invite or who would show up at an open invitation. However, my (blood) grandfather did show up. I would not have invited him if at all possible. At the advice of the Grove, I think I'm going to commune/ talk with his first wife (my grandmother) and mother-in-law. See if they can't corral him.

I suppose I probably didn't need to put forth an open call, however, not putting forth an open call would have meant that relatives I didn't think about didn't show up. One of those cases where having a very small family is not the best thing ever. Relatives who were dead before I was born (in 1 case, before my parents were born) want to be acknowledged.

I need to put together a box of remembrances for those whose influence is most especially felt in my life. Crochet hooks and knitting needles for Grandma T and G-Grandmas L and H, maybe a bit of yarn or a quilt block. Grandpa K was always proud of his teaching career and cooking. Grandpa B gets a golf ball. The thing that springs to mind for P is a car, but that might also just be my sick sense of humor. Ora and Lillian also wanted attention, but I didn't get the sense they wanted to be constantly thought of?

I need to put in more work. I know who wants attention now, so I need to give it to them.

Week 12: Ancestors, The Mighty Dead

Related to Requirement: #9 – Relationships to Kindred

Required Reading:
 Our Own Druidry, p. 120-121 (Kindred Attunement Work)
 Our Own Druidry, p. 42 (The Ancestors)

Optional Reading:
 "Ancestors Invocation" by Jennifer Ellison
 "A Beginner's Guide to Genealogical Research: or How I Connected to My Ancestors" by Meghan E. M.
 "Ancestors For Those Without Ancestors" by Renee Rhodes
 The Solitary Druid by Rev. Skip Ellison, p. 85-86

I'll come back to the ancestors later. This entry is mostly going to be catch up.

Nature:
It's spring. the trees are having sex and I can't breathe. I've not gotten as much yard work done yet as I really wanted to do, but there's time. Well, for most of it.  Looks like I should have gotten the strawberries in 2 weeks ago, as opposed to in 2 weeks when I have time and money to make it happen. But I should be able to get the mint in this spring. Or at least start getting the soil amended to what both strawberries and mint want.

This is my outside. Lawn and garden. I'm trying to not tear up too much stuff and to keep things still decently wild (or wild for suburbia) so that the Nature Spirits don't deal with too much change at once. Once the fence is re-built, I'll plant a bunch of butterfly bushes and other critter friendly plants.

I really dont know if this is what they want for nature awareness.

Meditation/ Mental Training:
This, contrary to all my expectations, is going ok. I'm not going to say it's going great, but the forcing myself to take time in the mornings is at least making me feel less anxious (most mornings). I'm still continuing with the Anywhere Devotional that I started out with. I do still need to create a proper rune set. In all the copious spare time I have for crafting.

Luna is being problematic in the mornings now that it's nice out. She makes it her goal to be as obnoxious as possible so I'll let her out in the mornings. Which means yowling at the top of her lungs, drinking from the well, trying to set herself on fire...  It's a bit distracting when I'm trying to be reach out to the kindreds.

I need to continue working on the two powers meditation. Will probably do that tonight after dinner while working on the stuff for ancestors.

I-E Studies:
I haven't touched this in weeks.

Week 11: The Two Powers

Related to Requirement:
#5 – Two Powers;
#6 – Mental Training

Required Reading:

• Our Own Druidry, p. 28-29 (The Two Powers)
• Our Own Druidry, p. 38-39 (The Two Powers) 

Optional Reading and Resources:

• Two Powers Audio file
• "Two Powers Active Meditation" by Tommy Watson
• A Book of Pagan Prayer by Ceisiwr Serith (ISBN: 1578632552)
• Sacred Fire, Holy Well by Ian Corrigan, pgs. 10, 76;
• Training the Mind: Techniques of Trance and Meditation CD by Ian Corrigan, "The Two Powers Exercise" and the introduction and discussion tracks 

The copy of the CD I have doesn't include the Two Powers audio file, just the introduction. I figure its much the same.

I love this way of grounding and centering. It's calming and doesn't make me feel like i'm screwing up just because I'm not properly attuned to Air (or whatever. I have trouble with a lot of elemental systems).

I have the basic imagery down, but not the timing. This is going to require more practice, but it's a decent start. 

Week 10: Second High Holy Day Recap

Related to Requirement: #8 – High Days Attended
Required Reading: None.

• How did the rite go in terms of structure? 
• We followed the ADF core order of ritual, with added offering to the outsiders (or rather, the God who watches that boundary).
• What things went wrong during the ritual? What things went right? 
• We had a lot of trouble with pronouncing names.  No one in our grove keeps a Slavic hearth, so Amber did a lot of research and came up with the most appropriate ritual she could. However, none of her sources included an english pronunciation guide. We met before ritual and came up with a workable pronunciation for each god, as that was the best we could do. There was also no water at the shelter we were at, which we should have anticipated, but failed to do. However, there was water at a different shelter, it was just a bit of a hike to get to it.
• Nothing was forgotten, it wasn't freezing, We're starting to get pretty practiced at this whole thing. Set up went pretty quick, despite the wind, and take down was even faster.
• Who were the patrons of the rite, and who was the gatekeeper? 
• Patron: Jarilo
• Gatekeeper: Zorya
• EarthMother: Zeme
• Did you have problems with saying the words without stumbling, or did everything come out smoothly? Did you forget to bring a sacrifice? 
• Everything except the names came out pretty smoothly. I forgot to bring a sacrifice for the open offering section, but Amber brought incense for that purpose, so I was able to still do mine.
• Were you alone, or with a group? If you were with a group, did you say anything or do anything? 
• We were a group. The core 6 of us and a few others. I did the offering to the outsiders in an effort to get over my discomfort with them
• How did the rite go in terms of function and feeling? Did you feel anything during the ritual? Did you experience doubt or confidence? 
• I think it went pretty well. I didn't really feel any connection with the deities, but then I never do in group ritual. I did feel like my ancestors were present, or at least a couple of them. I'm getting more comfortable with this every time.
• Can you describe what happened? If you were with a group, what did the other people say about what happened? 
• We didn't really talk about the ritual afterwards, we were all pretty hungry and chatty. So I don't know how they felt. I don't think I'm settling into the two powers enough. I didn't feel very connected to the group mind. But i was pretty relaxed and as close to trance I can get.
• What omens were drawn (if any), and what did they tell you? 
• We drew Ogham
• Ancestors: Muin. Love, esteem, love doesn't always look like love. The honored dead have blessed us with their true faces
• Nature spirits: Idad. Age, older than comprehension, plants, animals, ourselves all die. Don't pet the squirrels. We can learn from age; wisdom from experience.
• Deities: Straif. Transformation is the essence of life; change to move forward. We have the choice to live and move forward.
• Could you feel the presence of any deities, spirits, or powers? 
• It felt like Grandma Treva and Great-Grandma Helen were around. I miss Grandma Treva. A lot.
• What else about the rite struck you, or do you want to share? 
• The similarities to the King Arthur story are interesting. Sacred twins/ spouses aren't uncommon, but at least this one has Morena getting her vengeance. I don't' feel any call to Slavic, but I totally understand why people do.