Week 29: 5th High Holy Day Recap

Related to Requirement: #8 – High Days Attended
Required Reading: None.

I'm behind again. Need to write up an essay on Integrity and the meaning of the holiday, but I'm honestly more focused on actual practice right now. I also still need to start the modern paganism book, but there are just so many more interesting things to read.

But I'm going to do this while I'm coming off the ritual high and then go play outside.

• how did the rite go in terms of structure? What things went wrong during the ritual? What things went right? 

This was originally supposed to be a Hellenic group ritual. Then the folks who were supposed to be leading had to drop out due to scheduling problems and asked me to take over. So... Norse group ritual. And then neither of us actually had the energy to have ritual last night, so it became Norse solitary. Just a few changes.

I should have spent more time working out the changes from group to solitary ritual. There were wording problems (plural pronouns) and things that the Grove does that I don't in my personal practice. Given that I spent all of 30 minutes or so working on that transition, I don't know why this surprises me.

But because this was originally created for a group, it was fully ADF. So there's that. I had everything because, ya know, checklists. Most of the actual problems I had were caused by poor formatting on the print out, not failure to foresee something.

• Who were the patrons of the rite, and who was the gatekeeper?

 Gatekeeper: Heimdall
Earth Mother: Jord
Patron: Freyr
Outdwellers: Syn
Special Thanks: Eir

• Did you have problems with saying the words without stumbling, or did everything come out smoothly? Did you forget to bring a sacrifice? 

I had trouble remembering anything without the script, but everything came out smoothly as long as that was available. The only trouble I had with sacrifices was discovering I'm out of silver tokens for the well. So I had to come up with a different offering for the well (pearls) before I got started. But there wasn't any scrambling during the ritual.

• Were you alone, or with a group? If you were with a group, did you say anything or do anything? 

Yay being half-solitary and half-grove. 2nd time in a row I was solitary. But it wasn't as comfortable this time. Not sure if it's because of the time of day or the mental expectation for others to be around and there weren't.

• how did the rite go in terms of function and feeling? Did you feel anything during the ritual? Did you experience doubt or confidence? Can you describe what happened? 

This one was pretty straight forward. Come in, do the business, and leave. I felt a few glimmers of attachment during the Two Powers, but not much. I really do need to get better at that. I doubt my abilities as a liturgist. I doubt my suitability for this path. I doubt everything right now. But the only way I can get better is to push through and keep going. Fumbling for the script, managing to completely forget that August 1 is a holiday and maybe I should put thought into things a couple weeks before hand... not really confidence building. But it'll get better as the cycle of holidays becomes more ingrained in my psyche.

• What omens were drawn (if any), and what did they tell you? 

Nothing terribly helpful.

Ancestors:  sowilo. the sun. success, victory.

Nature Spirits:  Laguz. lake/leeks. go with the flow. still waters run deep. don't fight what isn't in your control.

Divine Ones:  elwaz. elk. communication and the dangers associated with it.

• Could you feel the presence of any deities, spirits, or powers? What else about the rite struck you, or do you want to share?

Mostly, I feel like I've had rites go worse, but normally, I also get an emotional link if I'm doing by myself. But hey, I got my cat blessed. Its a start.