Week 23: 4th High Holy Day Recap

Related to Requirement: #8 – High Days Attended
Required Reading: None.

• how did the rite go in terms of structure? What things went wrong during the ritual? What things went right? 

For whatever reason, we didn't have a grove ritual for the solstice. So I was writing my own ritual. I stuck with the basic core order of ritual that we normally use, and just adopted parts from other rituals that worked well or that I liked.

Nothing really went wrong, but I was planning on having the ritual outside. Then a thunderstorm came through, soaking the wood pile. And a second storm rolled through right at dusk when I was getting ready to start. So outside was a no go.

My altar is kinda small, which is why I was wanting to do the ritual outside: more space to hold offerings. Moving inside meant that I needed to suddenly clear a space near my altar to hold the sacrifices. Ended up just clearing off the top of my dresser and moving things to the altar in sets as they were needed. Stacking coffee cups work really well for holding sacrifices.

Overall, I'm really happy with how things turned out. I should have practiced more some of the pronunciations (Skidbladnir and Sessrumnir are both pretty hard to pronounce when you're trying to say them aloud for the first time). But the worst things that happened were some stuttered pronunciation and being inside instead of outside. There are so totally worse ways this could have gone.

• Who were the patrons of the rite, and who was the gatekeeper? 

Gatekeeper: Heimdall

Earth Mother: Jörd

Deity of the Occasion: Freyr and Freyja

• Did you have problems with saying the words without stumbling, or did everything come out smoothly? Did you forget to bring a sacrifice? 

I need to start practicing the kennings before ritual. Pronunciation always trips me up. There were parts where I couldn't find my cadence, but that's mostly just a practice thing I think. I remembered sacrifices for everyone (not always what I would have chosen, but the last minute change of location meant some things had to be swapped from  things to toss in a fire to things that can be added to a candle flame). Upon further reflection, I'm not sure a (cherry) tomato was the best offering to Freyr, however, it seemed right when I was doing my planning.

• Were you alone, or with a group? If you were with a group, did you say anything or do anything? How did the rite go in terms of function and feeling?

I was solitary for this rite. And actually, I liked it better. I need to work on my two powers meditation, but it's just a practice thing. Being able to move at my own pace, to slow down when I felt like it needed it, being able to re-affirm my connection with the powers mid-ritual when I slipped... it felt much more relaxing and worshipful than the group rituals do. 

• Did you feel anything during the ritual? Did you experience doubt or confidence? Can you describe what happened? 

I'm not sure that comfortable is the right word, but something with those connotations. I wrote it (or at least, assembled it. I need to go add citations to my record of ritual), I performed it, and there was very little outside of my control that I could control. Even the tripping and stuttering wasn't too bad and didn't shake the feeling that this was right. 

I actually felt connected to the Kindreds. I might even be feeling my way towards a relationship with Freyja. It wasn't anything that ecstatic trance or anything, but I felt like my words were being heard and acknowledged. The land spirits really liked the sacrifice of maple syrup, milk, and dark bread.  I'm pretty sure Syn appreciated the wine. 

Maybe I'm one of those folks who needs to be solitary by choice. Although I do like the volunteer work etc that is happening with the grove.

• What omens were drawn (if any), and what did they tell you? 

I used runes, as is my wont. Over all, the impression I got was if I put in the effort, I will be rewarded with good health.

Ancestors:  Uraz. The wild auroch/ ox. Good health, strength
Spirits:  Ingaz. The ingot. Potential. With work, something valuable.
Gods:  Ansuz. The spoken word.

• What else about the rite struck you, or do you want to share? 

I liked this so much better than group ritual. Even though I was completely exhausted when done, it was everything I wanted out of ritual. I need to do this more often.

Week 17: 3rd High Holy Day Recap

Related to Requirement: #8 – High Days Attended 

Required Reading: None. 

I obviously need to still do week 16, the essay about the holiday, however, this one is a lot easier to do at work.

• How did the rite go in terms of structure? What things went wrong during the ritual? What things went right? 

While writing the ritual, I kept to the Grove's basic outline of ritual. So everything required for an ADF ritual was present. I am a crappy liturgist. I didn't practice nearly enough, or even read some parts out loud while writing them, so the rhythm was stupid and awful. But for all that, things went ok. It wasn't the most elegant ritual we've done, but we also weren't struck by lightning or set on fire.

• Who were the patrons of the rite, and who was the gatekeeper? 

Earthmother: Jord

Gatekeeper: Heimdall

Patron: Freya

• Did you have problems with saying the words without stumbling, or did everything come out smoothly? Did you forget to bring a sacrifice? 

Most of the speaking problems would have been solved by me reading things aloud and fixing the rhythm before we started ritual. One of the good parts of the Marvel movies being so popular is that folks know how to pronounce most of the major Gods in the Norse pantheon. The only one we had trouble with was Jord and that's just due to Germanic vs Spanish pronunciations. 

I remembered all the sacrifices... but we failed to remember cups or other forms of holder for them. So the liquid offerings were all held in a number of different (inappropriate) containers: a dice set box; a reusable cup from my favorite bar, my faire mug that I only had because it was attached to my belt... There are worse problems to have, but it was pretty embarrassing. The grain just got left in its ziplock bag, the incense and strawberries hung out on the table.

• Were you alone, or with a group? If you were with a group, did you say anything or do anything? 

As woefully under-prepared as I was... I led. So I did most of the speaking. I need to get better at both public speaking (SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!) and blessing things. 

• How did the rite go in terms of function and feeling? 

I think we adequately expressed our excitement that spring is finally here and summer is within sighting distance? I don't feel like we insulted anyone (and I included an extra sacrifice in case we did). It did feel rushed and awkward. I'm not sure if that's because I wrote it (maybe everyone thinks ritual they've written feels awkward?) or if it really was awkward as all get out.

• Did you feel anything during the ritual? Could you feel the presence of any deities, spirits, or powers? Did you experience doubt or confidence? Can you describe what happened? 

Group ritual is about the worst way for me to feel connected to anything. I can get through the Two Powers meditation, feel nice and connected... and then that disappears over the course of the ritual. Part of that is I'm spending as much time anticipating what needs to happen next as I do on the actual ritual. This time, the wind was a serious hindrance, kept blowing the ritual/ script around. I actually felt more connected as I was writing it than while I was performing it.

I try to do a second rite by myself within a couple of days of the holiday in an effort to actually feel connected to something, but there was just no chance of that happening this time. Last week was just too busy.

• If you were with a group, what did the other people say about what happened? 

No one said anything. Which my brain interprets as a sign that I failed miserably. But the folks who were there also don't generally discuss the ritual in specific terms afterwards. The 3 of us who are working on our DP do that... but the other two weren't there.

• What omens were drawn (if any), and what did they tell you?  

Ancestors:  Wunjo. The ancestors bring us joy and love.

Spirits:  Thuraz. The spirits bring us both the thorn in the path and the beauty of the rose. The thorn is both hazard to caution and protection against forces that wish us harm.

Deities:  Othala. The Gods bring us our inheritance and the joy of it. We are linked to our past and our future

• What else about the rite struck you, or do you want to share?

I did a shite job at organizing this. I should have practiced more and let other people know what assistance I needed from them. It wasn't a disaster, but it felt like one.

Week 13: Nine Virtues: Wisdom

Related to Requirement: #1 – Nine Virtues
Required Reading:

• Our Own Druidry, p. 15 (Virtue, Piety and Study); 
• Our Own Druidry, 85-90 (Lore and Essays) 

Suggested Reading:

• A Virtuous Life Nine Virtues study guide

But first, recap of last week since I didn't get anything up.

Some how I got ahead of the group, so I had a bye week last week. I used the time to create a set of rune staves and to spend lots of time outside (to the dismay of my sunburnt ears and nose). I also finally got the Beltane ritual written.

I'm really happy with how the rune staves turned out, even if this is just meant to be a temporary set until I can get better wood working skills. Also, I probably shouldn't have started them just before lunch as I was starving by the end since it took a good 2 hours. I'm not sure how true they read, but since I'm really bad at interpretation anyway, I think it'll probably be ok. I have switched from iPod divination to drawing a rune instead during my devotional. Its practice and that is needed.

Mom requested a new retaining wall and a trip to the zoo for her birthday. So I spent most of Friday and Saturday outside, working and walking. Walnuts hurt to have jammed into your knees and penguins and polar bears are pretty cool (pun not intended). Sunday was spent inside helping Grandma around the house, which was not really how I wanted to spend it... but it needed to be done and I was the one available. And it wasn't too bad this time: just moving heavy stuff she can't manage and some computer stuff.

Writing the ritual was more of a thing than I was expecting it to be. I'm not sure if I was just blocked or if I'm a horrible litergist. Or both. At any rate, after combing through... several... books, every non-shitty website I could find, and a couple shitty websites that at least weren't racist, I finally got enough information to write this. I really need to find reliable sources of information. I have more research and information on exactly how the pleating was done on viking apron dresses than I have on what the appropriate deities are for different holidays. I'm going to publish at least the parts of it that I wrote after Beltane so other folks have a bit of an easier time. At any rate, ritual is written and sent off for editing.

Week 10: Second High Holy Day Recap

Related to Requirement: #8 – High Days Attended
Required Reading: None.

• How did the rite go in terms of structure? 
• We followed the ADF core order of ritual, with added offering to the outsiders (or rather, the God who watches that boundary).
• What things went wrong during the ritual? What things went right? 
• We had a lot of trouble with pronouncing names.  No one in our grove keeps a Slavic hearth, so Amber did a lot of research and came up with the most appropriate ritual she could. However, none of her sources included an english pronunciation guide. We met before ritual and came up with a workable pronunciation for each god, as that was the best we could do. There was also no water at the shelter we were at, which we should have anticipated, but failed to do. However, there was water at a different shelter, it was just a bit of a hike to get to it.
• Nothing was forgotten, it wasn't freezing, We're starting to get pretty practiced at this whole thing. Set up went pretty quick, despite the wind, and take down was even faster.
• Who were the patrons of the rite, and who was the gatekeeper? 
• Patron: Jarilo
• Gatekeeper: Zorya
• EarthMother: Zeme
• Did you have problems with saying the words without stumbling, or did everything come out smoothly? Did you forget to bring a sacrifice? 
• Everything except the names came out pretty smoothly. I forgot to bring a sacrifice for the open offering section, but Amber brought incense for that purpose, so I was able to still do mine.
• Were you alone, or with a group? If you were with a group, did you say anything or do anything? 
• We were a group. The core 6 of us and a few others. I did the offering to the outsiders in an effort to get over my discomfort with them
• How did the rite go in terms of function and feeling? Did you feel anything during the ritual? Did you experience doubt or confidence? 
• I think it went pretty well. I didn't really feel any connection with the deities, but then I never do in group ritual. I did feel like my ancestors were present, or at least a couple of them. I'm getting more comfortable with this every time.
• Can you describe what happened? If you were with a group, what did the other people say about what happened? 
• We didn't really talk about the ritual afterwards, we were all pretty hungry and chatty. So I don't know how they felt. I don't think I'm settling into the two powers enough. I didn't feel very connected to the group mind. But i was pretty relaxed and as close to trance I can get.
• What omens were drawn (if any), and what did they tell you? 
• We drew Ogham
• Ancestors: Muin. Love, esteem, love doesn't always look like love. The honored dead have blessed us with their true faces
• Nature spirits: Idad. Age, older than comprehension, plants, animals, ourselves all die. Don't pet the squirrels. We can learn from age; wisdom from experience.
• Deities: Straif. Transformation is the essence of life; change to move forward. We have the choice to live and move forward.
• Could you feel the presence of any deities, spirits, or powers? 
• It felt like Grandma Treva and Great-Grandma Helen were around. I miss Grandma Treva. A lot.
• What else about the rite struck you, or do you want to share? 
• The similarities to the King Arthur story are interesting. Sacred twins/ spouses aren't uncommon, but at least this one has Morena getting her vengeance. I don't' feel any call to Slavic, but I totally understand why people do.

Week 4: Holy Day Recap (Imbolc part 2)

Write up for the Imbolc ritual held 2/2/2014.  I'll turn this into a proper essay next week, when I'm less stressed about it.

From Ci:

Our omens for the rite were: 
Ancestors: Sail, or the Willow. The Ancient Ones are speaking, through the stream of time, and bless us with their wisdom if we are willing to listen.
Spirits: Onn, or Foundation and the Wheel. The Noble Ones bless us with stability and forward motion, and remind us that we are supported by the Earth even when the Earth itself trembles.
Deities: Coll and Iphin, or the Hazel and Honey. The Shining Ones bless us with the sweetness of life, and remind us that wisdom is not only found in adversity. Trust them and embrace the joy they offer.

From Magical Alphabets, by Nigel Pennick:

[Sail] is an ogham of linking, a watery symbolism which brings itself into harmony with the flow of events, most notably the phases of the moon... In divination, its power is greater at night than in the daytime, except when the moon is visible during the day.  Its power fluctuates with the cycle of the moon's phases... Esoterically, this eminent flexibility demonstrates [Sail]'s harmonious amenability to the conditions to which it is subjected. (page 134)

[Onn] is a plant which can be found in flower in almost every month of the year.  Thus it is an ogham of continuous fertility... Magically, [Onn] represents the collecting together and retaining of one's strength through adversity. (page 143) 

Coll... signifies the hazel tree...  In Viking times, hazel poles were used to delimit the sacred enclosures known as the hoslur, or hazeled field, in which formal combat took place.  Both in single combat, holmganga, and in full-scale formal battles between armies, the area for battle was distinguished from the normal world of everyday by hazel posts which formed a magical boundary around it. (page 137)

Book does not include Iphin (or at least, nothing that translates to Honey and nothing spelled anything approaching that). 

Write-up time!  I'll go through and turn this into a proper essay at some point, but now is not the time for that.

"How did the rite go in terms of structure? Who were the patrons of the rite, and who was the gatekeeper?"

We followed the Core Order of Ritual, substituting in the appropriate deities.  Earth Mother was Danu`, Gatekeeper: Manannan; Deity of the Occasion: Brigid. 

What things went wrong during the ritual? What things went right? 

No big foul ups.  being indoors always causes a problem with the offering to the outdwellers, but we managed.  We also couldn't have real fire (libraries are unfortunate that way).  But other than that, we pretty much did ok.  Had the right offerings to the right beings and nothing got screwed up too horribly.

Did you have problems with saying the words without stumbling, or did everything come out smoothly? 

I was only in charge of the offering to the Shining Ones.  For once, I didn't really stumble over the words.  Which probably has more to do with the lack of Deity names than any particular talent on my part.  There is just something about celtic names that cause me all sorts of trouble (probably because the monks who wrote down the assorted forms of Gaelic were drunk and/or high, but whatever).  I do probably need to to pick up one of my Celtic mythology books and re-figure out how to pronounce names.

Did you forget to bring a sacrifice? 

We had all the sacrifices we needed.  As soon as i figure out if there is a particular deity calling me, I'll start bringing a sacrifice for hir.  I do think I should probably put together a ritual back up kit that just lives in my car that contains things like a bowl to act as the well,  a gallon of apple cider or some other juice for offerings, incense, a lighter, that sort of thing.

Were you alone, or with a group? If you were with a group, did you say anything or do anything?

Group ritual with the Grove.  I did the offering to the Shining Ones. I need to get more comfortable with the idea/ presence/ whatever of the out dwellers.  but i'll get there.  Particularly since the Norse do have out dwellers that do need to be placated?

Now, for the not so easy part: how did the rite go in terms of function and feeling? Did you feel anything during the ritual? Did you experience doubt or confidence? Can you describe what happened? If you were with a group, what did the other people say about what happened? What omens were drawn (if any), and what did they tell you? Could you feel the presence of any deities, spirits, or powers? What else about the rite struck you, or do you want to share?

One of my... issues?  although that might be too strong of a word... with the Core Order of Ritual is that it doesn't feel like it's honoring the deity of the occasion enough.  I don't know if that's a grove thing, a me thing, or what.  It's more than possible that I'm expecting the wrong thing.  And I definitely need to work through it, even if working through it means that my personal devotions take that spot.

Once more, my discomfort with the outdwellers needs to be worked on.  I think it stems from my discomfort at inviting the attention of /any/ deity.  It's not a prevalent in celtic and norse mythology, but certainly in the mythologies of my youth, attracting the attention of God/Gods/Goddesses was death sentence.  Nothing pleasant ever happens to those who attract personal attention.

Omens, as interpreted by my current experience, are:
Ancestors: Gma Treva telling me I'll get through this.  Dad's right, I am feeling much the same way she did when Bill left.  But she did pretty good after Bill left and I'll do pretty good after Jon is out of my life.  I just need to trust zen.

Spirits: the foundation is solid, even if it doesn't feel like it.  I need to trust it and fly.  

Shining Ones: Joy is a type of wisdom as well.  Life carries on, and with it, the joy of creation.  Not only the despair of destruction.