Week 23: 4th High Holy Day Recap

Related to Requirement: #8 – High Days Attended
Required Reading: None.

• how did the rite go in terms of structure? What things went wrong during the ritual? What things went right? 

For whatever reason, we didn't have a grove ritual for the solstice. So I was writing my own ritual. I stuck with the basic core order of ritual that we normally use, and just adopted parts from other rituals that worked well or that I liked.

Nothing really went wrong, but I was planning on having the ritual outside. Then a thunderstorm came through, soaking the wood pile. And a second storm rolled through right at dusk when I was getting ready to start. So outside was a no go.

My altar is kinda small, which is why I was wanting to do the ritual outside: more space to hold offerings. Moving inside meant that I needed to suddenly clear a space near my altar to hold the sacrifices. Ended up just clearing off the top of my dresser and moving things to the altar in sets as they were needed. Stacking coffee cups work really well for holding sacrifices.

Overall, I'm really happy with how things turned out. I should have practiced more some of the pronunciations (Skidbladnir and Sessrumnir are both pretty hard to pronounce when you're trying to say them aloud for the first time). But the worst things that happened were some stuttered pronunciation and being inside instead of outside. There are so totally worse ways this could have gone.

• Who were the patrons of the rite, and who was the gatekeeper? 

Gatekeeper: Heimdall

Earth Mother: Jörd

Deity of the Occasion: Freyr and Freyja

• Did you have problems with saying the words without stumbling, or did everything come out smoothly? Did you forget to bring a sacrifice? 

I need to start practicing the kennings before ritual. Pronunciation always trips me up. There were parts where I couldn't find my cadence, but that's mostly just a practice thing I think. I remembered sacrifices for everyone (not always what I would have chosen, but the last minute change of location meant some things had to be swapped from  things to toss in a fire to things that can be added to a candle flame). Upon further reflection, I'm not sure a (cherry) tomato was the best offering to Freyr, however, it seemed right when I was doing my planning.

• Were you alone, or with a group? If you were with a group, did you say anything or do anything? How did the rite go in terms of function and feeling?

I was solitary for this rite. And actually, I liked it better. I need to work on my two powers meditation, but it's just a practice thing. Being able to move at my own pace, to slow down when I felt like it needed it, being able to re-affirm my connection with the powers mid-ritual when I slipped... it felt much more relaxing and worshipful than the group rituals do. 

• Did you feel anything during the ritual? Did you experience doubt or confidence? Can you describe what happened? 

I'm not sure that comfortable is the right word, but something with those connotations. I wrote it (or at least, assembled it. I need to go add citations to my record of ritual), I performed it, and there was very little outside of my control that I could control. Even the tripping and stuttering wasn't too bad and didn't shake the feeling that this was right. 

I actually felt connected to the Kindreds. I might even be feeling my way towards a relationship with Freyja. It wasn't anything that ecstatic trance or anything, but I felt like my words were being heard and acknowledged. The land spirits really liked the sacrifice of maple syrup, milk, and dark bread.  I'm pretty sure Syn appreciated the wine. 

Maybe I'm one of those folks who needs to be solitary by choice. Although I do like the volunteer work etc that is happening with the grove.

• What omens were drawn (if any), and what did they tell you? 

I used runes, as is my wont. Over all, the impression I got was if I put in the effort, I will be rewarded with good health.

Ancestors:  Uraz. The wild auroch/ ox. Good health, strength
Spirits:  Ingaz. The ingot. Potential. With work, something valuable.
Gods:  Ansuz. The spoken word.

• What else about the rite struck you, or do you want to share? 

I liked this so much better than group ritual. Even though I was completely exhausted when done, it was everything I wanted out of ritual. I need to do this more often.