uh... FAIL

Did a daily devotional tonight instead of meditation.

I think the Kindreds just rejected me.  Or at least, my offerings.

Luna decided she wanted to bat at the Fire.  Twice.  I got her off the altar each time, but... yeah.
Fire ran out of oil (after ritual thankfully).
When i went to refill the oil, i overfilled it, ruining an altar cloth.
Wiping up the spilled oil... my rag caught on fire.

So... back to meditation I think.  less chance of burning my house down.

(this is all in addition to getting a ticket on my way home from picking up some more incense and candle holders.)

Bye Week therefore Housekeeping

It's a bye-week for Wheel of the Year, so updates on continuing projects/ assignments/ whatever.

Indo-European Book Review:

So I read the Myth of Matriarchal Prehistory.  I have feels, bad ones.  Not because I disagree with Eller, but because the Matriarchal prehistory folks fail basic feminist thought and logic.  I have never wished so badly that an argument was a strawman. And it's not like I'm well known for my grasp on feminist theory.

My initial review is going to be far too long.  Once I've gotten it written, edited, and privilege checked, i'll post it.  Then I'll edit it down  for DP stuff.  Or, more likely, I'll write an abstract and use that.  

At any rate, it'll be up in a couple weeks probably.  Right now, I'm still in search of sources that back me up on how racist the theory is (I've already got sources on how sexist/ anti-feminist it is).  I love JSTOR and having friends who are in academia who will allow me to abuse them for access to articles.  I've already started the blog post for it twice and it's just not there yet.  So it'll be there when it's ready.  Also, I apparently need to re-memorize MLA since I'm out of practice.  There's been at least one update come out since I stopped using MLA for everything.

Shrine Update:

Luna has been very good about staying off my altar so far.  She nearly burnt herself while I was meditating with a candle lit on it Saturday morning, but figured out that it was hot before she got too close.

I think I'm going to pick up an air plant terrarium to use as my tree.  It's not appropriate for my hearth culture at all, but sometimes hearth culture needs to take a back seat to "something I can keep alive and wont' poison my cat." I might pick up another cedar branch to use if I feel the need (the cedars in my back yard had a couple of branches die over the fall/ winter, so I can harvest those).  And, the more cedar in my wool filled house the better.

Apparently, I decided this week was going to be the week I started my rune set.  Not sure that's actually going to happen, but I'll contemplate it.

Nature Awareness:

My awareness of nature right now comes down to "it's freaking cold.  Frozen got it's EGOT, Elsa, can you please end the endless winter now?"  And making chili and potato soup.  I'm essentially just hiding in my den, and, for the most part, feel no shame in that.

Per the Weather Channel, we're supposed to warm up to the mid-fifties by next weekend.  If that's true, I'll go tramp around in the woods Thursday afternoon.  I really want to go camping, but that's just not going to happen right now.

At any rate, I really need to get the initial write up from week 5 written.  

Holy Days:

I think I need to go re-work the initial Imbolc paragraph back in week 3.  I'm not sure it hits the word count and it's certainly incomplete.

Our spring equinox ritual is going to be Slavic.  I know nothing about slavic cultures other than what I learned in a history course 8 years ago and that didn't focus much on folklore, mythology, or even the pre-christian religion.  I do have a book of Russian folk tales. I should probably pull that out and skim through it just so I have something resembling a base.

May 1/ Beltane is the Norse ritual that I'm creating.  Assuming we're focusing on the fertility aspects and not the German ancestor aspects, GateKeeper will be Heimdall on the Bifrost, DoO will probably be Frey.  I'll have to poke around some more to find the appropriate Earth Mother, nothing is sticking out at me as I thumb through my books. I'm also probably overthinking the ritual itself and need to NOT reinvent the wheel.

Library:

Not really strictly part of my DP stuff, but is happening in conjunction with, and has mental health implications.  I've started the great book purge. I know Goodreads has a scan function to add books to your library.  I need to experiment with it to see if I can get it to tag every book I scan in at a session with "Book Purge" or something similar.  It's that or type everything into a spreadsheet on Google so folks can lay claim to anything they find interesting. None of this can go live until after the divorce is finalized of course.  And I'll probably run most of them through a book buyback to see if i can get any money for them before putting them up for grabs. But expect that to be coming shortly.  There's likely to be lots of art history and books on Martin Luther.

My goal is to clear enough space off my bookshelves that I can have one bookcase (one of the short ones) dedicated to Pagan Library stuff in my bedroom.  This will also give me some more space to spread my altar out if I feel the need.  Which I don't right now but *shrug*.  It'd be nice to have the option.

Meditation:

This is... not going as well as I would like.  I'm trying to average 5 times a week (gives me a couple days to be tired or busy without fretting about it), but I'm at best, averaging 2-3 times a week.  I'm contemplating just not moving my body clock with daylight saving's time next weekend, but I'm not sure how that will work. But I do need to come up with something.  

Unless I decide to bypass meditation and just do a daily devotion.  Which is a possibility.  I don't know.  It's something to think about at least.  The devotionals will also serve to get me more familiar with CoOR. Or maybe daily devotionals and meditation.  That might bridge the gap I'm feeling.  

I think I'll try doing either a devotional or meditation every day this week and next and see which one fits in with my life better.  I'll either pick one or continue doing both throughout the year.  This also means that it's less awkward to excuse myself for 30 minutes when I have company.  I can wait until they leave and even if I'm too tired to meditate, I can at least do a devotional.  Perhaps this is where I should start contemplating prayer beads.

Week 7: Creating the Home Shrine

Related to Requirement: #4 – Home Shrine
Required Reading:

• Our Own Druidry: p. 91 - 96 (Personal Work) 86-100

Optional Reading:

• "Placement of the Home Shrine" by Rev. Michael J Dangler 
• "Creating the Desire for Worship" by Rev. Michael J Dangler 
• "Takin' It All Home" by Kami Landy
• Sacred Fire, Holy Well by Ian Corrigan, p. 69-70; 
• The Solitary Druid by Rev. Skip Ellison, p. 38-40  

Personal Reading:

• "Creating a Home Shrine" by Julian Greene

I've had a home shrine for several years now, but I've never really been happy with it.  I like being able to have space to actually create charms and whatnot on my altar and, particularly once my now ex and I combined altars, there was no room for much of anything, let alone oils and beads and cording and mortar/ pestle and all the other necessary supplies.  Accordingly, I'm pretty much starting over on altar organization.  

I have a wooden bowl to use as a Well.  A stone oil lamp for the Fire (not the company I got mine from, but same style).  Several incense burners and oil diffusers.  The only thing I really need is something to act as the Tree.  I've been using a cedar branch (trimmed, de-barked, and sanded), but I have that branch for a reason and will need to find a different option.  I'm hoping now that spring is coming, I'll be able to find a house plant that is both non-toxic to cats and can withstand benign neglect.  I also want to find something else to use as offering bowls instead of either a) my mortar or b) a stacking coffee cup.  

I'll be moving my altar upstairs to my bedroom later today and will thus be able to get decent light and photos.  I might keep a mini-altar downstairs in the library using some of the duplicates that I have, but I'm not sure off hand.  Something about open flame on a bookshelf seems... bad. I like the idea of having a smaller brazier and whatnot in the kitchen while I'm cooking dinner, but counter-space is at a premium right now.  So even something as small as that could be problematic (also, see cat and curious).  

Part of me really wants to go back to using the top of my dresser as an altar instead of the tv stand that I'm currently using.  However, my dresser is rather tall, making sitting in front of it a problem and I also tend to just deposit stuff on it- socks missing mates, pocket junk, my jewelry box, borrowed books... That's not really a good habit to have for your altar.  At least the tv stand has built in storage and is small enough that the normal altar clutter is more than enough to make adding mundane junk require thought.  Yes, there is the option of just becoming a better housekeeper, but lets keep things reasonable.

Existing Altar

I got the altar moved upstairs.

Currently: stone oil lamp, cedar branch held upright in a mason jar with some sand, turned walnut bowl; basic incense burner with... some sort... of incense in it; strand of amethyst chip beads surrounding a polished piece of citron.

Inside the cabinet is incense, candles, oils, altar cloths (i try to change them out with the seasons), assorted other supplies.  I have a basket containing polished stones to use as offerings and a second (smaller) bowl containing larger stones.  It's rather a disaster, so I'm not going to post a photo of it.

Week 3: the First High Holy Day (Imbolc)

Week 3: The first High Holy Day: an explanation

Related to Requirement: #2 – Meaning and Discussion of High Days
Required Reading:

• Our Own Druidry, p. 62 - 74 61-75 (Hearth Cultures & High Days)

• ADF Constitution, Article 4

• The ADF Core Order of Ritual for High Days, 

Optional Reading:

• Our Own Druidry, p. 51 - 75 48-76 (The Very Basics of Ritual)

• A Crane Breviary and Guide Book by Rev. Michael J Dangler: <http://www.lulu.com/chronarchy>

• Appendix 1: Resources and Rituals for the Wheel of the Year

• Step by Step through a Druid Worship Ceremony

• The "Liturgy and Rituals" section of the ADF page

• The Three Cranes Grove, ADF, outline of ritual (with example prayers)

Not a whole lot to type up or think about before the ritual actually happens.  Ritual is Sunday afternoon with a celtic focus.  I'm trying to find sources for info on Norse equivalent.  What I've been able to find so far pretty much matches the Celtic/Germanic festival.  Ewe's milk, when winter begins to soften.  Lambing will begin soon (I guess? City girl here!).  At any rate, it's much the same it sounds like, so if I can't find anything at the library, I'll use the existing books I have at home.

The past week the cold has felt different.  It's still cold (the high on Monday was 14 Fahrenheit!), but it's not the bitter cold without remorse of deep winter.  It's the ever-so-slightly more humid cold of very early spring. The grocery store next to work hasn't put up their green house yet (my personal "yay spring!" signal), but they're clearing that area of their parking lot, so it'll be going up in the next month or so.

I think I'm going to end up doing two rituals for each holiday.  The grove ritual, which tends to be I-E, Celtic, or Grecian focused, and then a solitary ritual that's Norse focused.  I'm the only one in the grove with a impulse towards Norse, so I don't' think we'll ever being doing Norse as the main ritual.  And I'm ok with that.   The online Solitary grove posted their February ritual over the weekend.  I have it pulled up at home.  I'll take it and the Disting/Ewemeoluc ritual on the adf website and make them play nice.  It shouldn't be too hard.  Although I should totally do that tonight since K and nephew are coming down this weekend to play (and possibly go to ritual with me?)

I have some notes and thoughts about how meditation is going, but I think they'll get their own post when I'm not piece-mealing a post together from open tabs in stolen moments at work.

useful links:

https://www.adf.org/rituals/norse/general/index.html