This week could have gone better, but it also could have gone a lot worse. I feel like I only really accomplished the goal once- Wednesday. The rest of the week was a struggle to stay focused on breathing and not the tens (if not hundreds) of other things that need to or could happen.
But all healthy things take practice. And I'll get there. I just need to actually do the practice. I hit Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday this week, which isn't bad. I should have done it yesterday, but by the time my movie was over, I knew I'd fall asleep if I sat still for 20 minutes with my eyes closed.
The 20 years of attempting to build a practice have paid off some what. I don't have to really think about altering my breathing patterns to in-two-three-four and out-two-three-four anymore. Years of using that as a way to calm myself down has ensured that. But that isn't helping me focus solely on breath.
This next week is very busy, mostly with stuff for or with the grove. Since I'm not organized enough to meditate in the morning before work, this is going to be a huge organizational struggle. I'll either need to meditate over my lunch break or later int he evening so I run the risk of falling asleep. I'll see what I can work out. Tuesday, I have 3 hours between work and anime, so there's time to go to the library and find a quiet space there. The more I think about it, the more the library seems like be my best option for busy weeknights and meditating away from home. It's quiet and has silent study areas where no one bothers you.
Goals for Week 2 (Feb 2-8)
- meditate at least 3 days
- improve breathing focus.
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